A long time ago during the non-tissue days, the poor little kids with a cold had to have their noses cleaned.

 This presented a problem. The loving mother had to gently but surely suck the thick mucus out of the baby’s nose with her mouth!!!!

Kwa hivyo Roach ‘the bug’ Mawe decided that enough is enough. Let me step out of the caffeine world and try something new for a stimulatin’ change- OXYGEN THERAPY. The first morning was hell. I had a headache to ponder on and a lot of swearing entered my unlimited vocab(yeah, am that good). 

Wacha mhenga aendelee na mwito wa hadithi. Among my many business plans selling oxygen should be a great one. The city of Nairobi, Kenya is heading towards the brink of stink so is New York and the rest of the world’s big cities. In the morn, one can see fog at the Nairobi city hub from an elevated point in any one of the suburbs. My business idea is bound to thrive. Most of the doctor-to-be friends that I have are not willing to jeopardize their internship for me, so as an entrepreneur I will simply be based in the country side. Bagging oxygen will just require a clean vacuum cleaner. To expand my biz in the country, I will begin cutting trees in earnest to rid us of the forest that the first African woman Nobel Laureate- Prof. Wangari Maathai- has been fighting for. By the way, she is proudly Kenyan as I am. Cut-throat biz needs cutting tactics and filthy air without rain.

Some time back I read an article in FADE magazine that showed pollution in NY has increased to levels that pips in the boroughs are forced to put on gas masks. And with the Bushman’s ignorance of immigrants and the impoverished ghetto die-hards shown from Katrina’s aftermath, Mawe Oxygen should be an easy sell. I have a hunch that with his new work permit policy, he’ll agree a Kenyan like me can do biz. He’ll give me three years to work in the land of the free (as if I am or they are!!) then will still deter me from getting a green card or gaining citizenship. On the other hand, I still risk being deported anytime the Senate knifes my back in the name of sending me back since I will be termed an immigrant. As I proceed, R.I.P Al Zarqawi the US had employed his boss, how else did he expect to die. Definitely not as a suicide bomber but as a bomb victim!

 His girlfriend, Ms.Tony Blair, the PM of Brits should be up and ready to accommodate me in London. These two have banned a few of my Kenyan Ministers from heading to their country for any business due to corruption allegations. This, I agree, is true but it’s all-good for me since my business is about cleanliness, which of course does not involve doing dirt-ha haa!

The double standard of the superpower will have me laughing all the way to the stash under my pillow. The tooth fairy is going to strike cold hard cash in plenty and get a real job instead of tooth collection. Kenya is about to strike oil at it’s coast therefore they will definitely come to beg for biz. What I want my president, Mr.Kibaki, to do is to make them beg like we do when we ask for aid or ARVs9which we are lucky to get free now). I assure you that the banned ministers will find their way back into the shopping malls of our newly acquired beggars. This is still good for my biz. More oil, more cars, more pollution hence the need for more oxygen. Kwaheri…

whoever thought this was the best thing the world has isn’t lying. Habari gani?

Am from Kenya so i bring with me a mixture of languages from Swahili to English to Sheng’.  My 1st time to blog. I’d forgotten ma stupid password. i bet some hack has already started to go thru. sorry support team, u just welcomed Mr.Paranoia to the freeest press on earth and am juz getting started. Jambo?

i belong to the lost generation of our country, but am finding ma way thru this concrete and wilderness!  am starting my own biz. screw the boss. Sijali ukoloni mambo leo? Pardon my Swahili.

i am a young man with several dreams. all of them will come true with God’s help, sidanganyi. i also have multiple personalities but i don’t care about what my friends say . besides they are used to me. 

i heard that some fools in new york are making millions out of a blog. they call it “overheard in New York”.  i want to start selling ideas on e-bay or some other site like that. are u willing to join me. these days u can sell anything on the web. But that’s juz the start of my iffy head. Poleni

Idea 1…

PS:Hey i have used too many “I”s. well it’s MY blog MY words MY ideas